A Conference Carol

What a month it has been. Filled with the lead up to One's annual conference and then the event itself.

Now that one has some distance between oneself and the happenings of conference it will be safe to report Objectively on the many happenings of the event.

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Our hero's journey began on a sunny... rainy... sunny... windy Melbourne day as he boarded the train that was taking him to the exotic, far off, destination of Jolimont.

It seemed like mere minutes passed and suddenly he found himself checking in to the most haunted of venues, replete with the moaning of the unsettled dead whistling down the corridors (or if Old Mate and Dual Wielder are to be believed it's just the air conditioning).

Expect the twins to cycle round the corner any moment...

Our hero bravely pushed left his safe and secure room to attend the early arrivals get together. This year, as well as the usual early arriving attendees, there was an organised flash mob of the ghosts of past conferences. Among them Vivacious Em, Skeptic L, Comrade Treasurer, and Dubrovnik Hater; all doing their darnedest to resurface events of past conferences that still haunt our hero to this day.

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Day the second began with the proper conference events and that familiar haunting feeling that every conference organiser has that something had been forgotten.
In any case all was well, except for the haunted projector flickering in and out during the first two hours of presentations.

The large morning events led into the smaller afternoon events and soon enough we were gathering for the evening Galah dinner wherein one found oneself at a table with Supervisor Grand Chief K. The horror continued when she left early and the now spare dessert was sent back to the kitchen as "not needed"... NOT NEEDED!!! Despite that horrifically traumatising event the fun level did seem to pick up as the night went on and there was even some dancing amid the conversation. However a chill did descend upon our hero towards the end of the evening as the ghosts of the present conference obviously took possession of both Sis and Old Mate.

The moment the spirits took control...

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The third day began with Sister Serials and LibraryBFF joining Sidekick and our hero for the day.
After a few morning presentations the fun stuff of the AGM began wherein one's back-room dealings once again failed to return our hero to the presidential standing so richly deserved and he had to continue on as Secretary.
To make matters worse there were then afternoon training sessions in which post-lunch learning was expected!
Luckily it was over in the long-blink of an eye and we were all soon traipsing our way to the evening networking event Sis had booked in the back of a wardrobe, down some stairs, in a basement.
I begrudgingly presented the official crown of presidency to Sis only to have it refused and then stolen away by Jeza who seemingly had it glued to his head for the the next several hours.
Conversation and company was good and our hero was surprised to discovered that several of the other IT employed attendees were huge nerds/geeks about various things.
There was also the ghostly glimmer of potential future conference organising volunteers to warm ones spirit as the witching hour approached.
The return trip of the evening was rather less traipsy and more in the realm of stumbly. But it did involve a visit by Dual Wielder, guided accurately by our hero, to the model Fairy Village (also known correctly as the Model Tudor village) and the Fairy Tree before evening retirement was had at a sensible single digit hour.

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Day four began.
Day four provided many more networking opportunities which, luckily for our hero, Sidekick was able to shoulder the load of.
And before you know it the great adventure was over.
Well, except for the part where our hero had to face one last trial: The Trial of the Unwinding Executive.
Once more spirits were summoned and traipsing the breadth (but not the length) of the city was undertook. Creamy fluffy cocktail temptation was faced and defeated by our hero - time and time again. And finally all were safely back to their haunted hotel rooms to head towards a well-earned sleep in before heading homeward in the morning.

The ghosts and spirits of conference where to linger with our hero and his faithful companions for days, nay the week, to come - for such a manifestation is not so easy to shake without a second weekend of sleep-ins...
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The Return to Normalcy

So Wednesday was the scheduled day for my triumphant return to LibraryLand and the usual hum-drum of the day to day workday. True to my amazing recuperative powers I was all ready to keep my scheduled return date and was even looking forward to having some human company as The Tiger seemed completely oblivious to my need for careful nursing over the previous week.

So Tuesday night was when a major server decided to "fall over", as we say in the high jargon IT world, just so that many things would have trouble first thing in the morning. Did I mention my plan to take it easy on my first day by arriving around eleven?

So anyway, there I was, up early to do my knee-ish physio exercises - least The Viking Hat GM come around and knee-cap me for being one of those people that don't do the recovery exercises and then whine that the operation didn't fix anything - and lo and behold the phone begins to ring.

So of course it was Sister Serials with some query, only she would be callous enough to value her record as my chief tormentor over my health and call so early on my day of return.
Alas she was not the only call that morning. They followed in quick succession and before long I was busily trying to fix things remotely from home.

So eventually I was able to make it in at about 1pm - just in time for my lunch break.

So that evening there was normalcy at the regular game hosted by The Viking Hat GM as he once again made us face a deadly enemy - luckily we were too good for his shenanigans.


So Thursday there was even more normalcy as I had to struggle through roadworks and Punt Rd traffic to get to a regular morning meeting.
Refreshingly I was subject of some very abnormal behaviour as a chorus of workmates greeted me joyfully as I walked late into the meeting. We even had a post meeting lunch in honour of The Administrator having a birthday that day. Honestly, what some people will do to steal my limelight!

So while we're on the subject of limelight stealing let's not forget the dinner I attended that night in honour of Comrade Treasurer's change of job. You can guess which recently operated upon IT man was not the centre of attention there as well.


So, sigh, only a week after being operated upon and the universe had already run out of sympathy for me.

So such is the normalcy under which I live my life.

(So I've found out with this post that you can start any paragraph with so. Amazing isn't it?)
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... The Long Awaited Conference Report

Well enough time has passed since the conference that I will now be able to report upon it with my trademark professional objectivity.

It all began for me early in the week when I had to sacrifice two evenings on the altar of having my presentation complete and ready to go for a Thursday afternoon session.
My sacrifice was made even more poignant and grandiose as one of the sacrificed evenings was a gaming evening - the only one untouched by formal conference activities.


Day One: Training and Busing
The Official Day one began with myself and Comrade Treasurer registering conference goers before the start of the morning training session.
The end of training was marked with a sumptuous lunch feast. Unfortunately I had to leave the buffet after only half an hour of feasting as one of my responsibilities involved organising the bus tour for the afternoon.
Said tour went rather well with the attendees: gaping at the technology at Skeptic L's library; having a wry laugh about the porn perusing patrons sullying the newness of Comrade Treasurer's rejuvenated branch; and flocking paparazzi-like around the simple digital photo frame display at my own branch. It was a trifle amusing to see working technology and new desks overlooked for a pragmatic and functional little device.
Throughout this tour my powers of counting were sorely tested as various individuals joined and left the bus at each stopover but I remain confident that no librarians have been left stranded in Melbourne's suburbs for the past month.


Libraryland Cocktails and Beyond
The first evening involved a wonderfully Spring Racing Carnival themed "cocktail" reception.
Of course Supervisor Grand Chief K was in attendance and up to her usual tricks as The Enabler of all things to excess. She might try to blame the constantly refilled wine glasses but I'm sure she was one of the big reasons the night went on afterwards long after all good conference attendees should have been to bed.

Anyway, I did manage to use the occasion to perform some work-related duties, cornering The Beer Drinking Machine and coming up with the solution to our long running RFID problems.

After the official event we reluctantly embarked upon a little expedition at the behest of Dubrovnik Hater who I suspect was working as an accomplice to SGCK - especially as she plied me with a ridiculous cocktail at our first destination.

Luckily my incredible willpower held out and I was able to abstain for the remainder of the night and headed home to a well earned rest after just one more venue.


Day Two: An Unexpected Case of Wine Poisoning
You can imagine my shock when I awoke at around five am to find my body at war with me.
I struggled through much of the morning with only some water and half a carrot for sustenance, messaging my situation reports through to Comrade Treasurer. It was quite a while before I had things under control enough to head in to conference central without fear of yet another stomach emptying episode (and why are there always carrots?). I made my way be train as feeble as a new born stopping for some simple recovery tools along the way.

Finally shuffling in to the break room I was met by a steady succession of attendees popping out of the morning session for various reasons and all of them passed comment on my health. Clearly Skeptic L had informed the whole world of my disposition!
Of interest was the advice that I received independently from two of the Librarians for a northern Melbourne Library service concerning recovery from cases of wine poisoning such as mine . I think I shall have to see about attending their staff Xmas party if they need to know such information so thoroughly.

Thinking it was all behind me I had to face the most horrific part of the whole ordeal as a magnificent lunch was served and I didn't have the stomach to partake of it at all.
Oh the humanity!

In the afternoon I bravely presented my part of the session I had promised to be a part of - albeit a little less lively than I had planned to be.

I then sat back and furthered my recovery with a few sessions of very little movement.

It all worked a treat and I was able to partake fully in the evening conference dinner and even had my wits about me enough to escape from Dubrovnik Hater's clutches as she gathered people about her for another night on the town (although she claims it was all The Ex-President's idea).


Day Three: In Which Nothing Untoward Happened
The final day of the conference went almost completely to plan with sessions ticking over, lunch being eaten and my reign as Mr Secretary coming to a close after two eventful years.
I was even able to tackle a drink or two at the farewell event at the end of the day.



So there you have it the month-late report on my conference experience.

Hmmm, not really worth the wait was it?
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... The Great Slide into Irregularity

Once again my self-imposed goal of one post every four or five days has slipped away from me. Looking back I can't understand how I was able to succeed at the whole 25 Blogs of Xmas thing.
I guess I can blame this tie on old-age or the heat or the huge amount of work I am doing (take note Supervisor Grand Chief K).

In any case here is a selection from the previous week or so - although with the elapsed time several ideas/pontifications have slipped away never to be brought to life on these pages - whomever it was that said "if it's a good idea you will remember it" is completely wrong, I've lost so many good ideas to the aether that I now make sure I write them down whenever possible.


The Plethora of BBQs
My birthday weekend was marked by an over-abundance of BBQs - so many, in fact, that I had to decline one. The regular family one was first up and was followed the next day by the real-people housewarming BBQ for The Viking Hat GM. Much good food and conversation was had - all without a single dice being rolled!


The Haze of Summer
Speaking of He of the Horn-ed Hat, he has written a succinct post called Fires and Silence (in his Viking-hatted Hippy mode) saying pretty much what I would say about the current Victorian bushfire situation if The Tales weren't so focused on food and frivol.

I must say though that I have been awed by the effect on familiar places and the haze of woodsmoke that has been over the city for much of the week turning the sun into a looming orange globe in the sky.

The media is also full of people and organisations big-noting themselves over how much they are giving to help the victims which tweaks my cynic impulses no end, but at least they are giving.


The Planning of a Conference
On a lighter note I was in the city on Wednesday with Skeptic L and Comrade Treasurer making sure that the food and drink facilities for this years conference would be more than adequate. There was also some talk about halls and IT equipment but I'm sure that will sort itself out on the day.


The RFIDs Again
We had another branch go live with RFID on Thursday. Everything went exactly as I had expected - right down to the great network slowdown of the middle afternoon.
Oh well such is the IT life.


The Endless Poker Night
My weekend has been consumed by yet another of BestFriendSincePrep's wacky schemes. This one was all about the best way to spend Valentine's Day - poker!!
So along with StumpyRudolph and The Electric Tiger we embarked on a card-crusade with BFSP's goal of seeing dawn hanging over us.

Well I made it, thanks to not being allowed to leave when everyone else's stamina gave out at 4.30 because apparently "only drunk people say they have not had too many drinks in the last ten hours".
I bided my time watching The Island and then made good my escape in the morning haze to finally reach my much needed bed.

I awoke late in the afternoon once again without most of my day and swearing to never follow BestFriendSincePrep's lead in anything ever again.
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... Lunch and the Single Launch

This morning was the annual Xmas meeting and free lunch at the LMS suppliers in the city.

Comrade Treasurer and Skeptic L where heavily involved in running the meeting and after a couple of hours of blah, blah, blah - including something like 100 site reports instead of the usual dozen since they come out of the woodwork for a free lunch - it was finally time for the lunch.

It was quite adequate and even though mingling kept getting in the way of my grazing there was always plenty there for me to keep nibbling on.

Of course Supervisor Grand Chief K showed up after the meeting for only the lunch part of the event - showing her years of experience in LibraryLand functions - something I'll have to try next year "Sorry I'm late everyone, my train was delayed. Let's eat!"

A highlight of the lunch was being waited on by Dubrovnik Hater who, having gone over to the dark side and now working for the LMS supplier, found that an overlooked clause in her contract required her to take on the waiting staff role for the Xmas lunch. She did quite well bringing the food to me and topping up my wine glass although at one point she did approach with a platter of fruit...

Sadly I had to cut short the lunch after only a couple of hours in order to head back to work in order to make it to the RFID launch for Beaumaris branch.

One drowsy train journey later I was back in time to catch a lift down with Big J and Groovy Spirits.

The launch itself was well attended - by staff and we were even allowed to partake of the cakes before the official launch spiel from Supervisor Grand Chief K (I did make the mistake of having one of AntagonisticAl's yummy lemon-blob topped bickies without checking for poison first - have to be more careful in future).
We did have to wait until after to hoe into Days of Our Libraries usual delightful cake but Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum took the cake, so to speak, with her creation that included Playmobil borrowers using little RFID kiosks.
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... The Prisoner of Adelaide

I'm back safe and sound in Melbourne after having spent the rest of last week at the Annual user group conference, this year in Adelaide.


Unofficial Day 1
In my capacity as Mr Secretary I decided it was best if I were to grace the city with my presence a day before the festivities kicked off.
Accordingly I flew in on the Tuesday to arrive in the early afternoon. The flight was quite pleasant, including a wonderfully delicious sandwich, although I did have to lean out into the aisle for most of the hour as my manly broad-shouldered physique did not do well seated next to another gentlemen of similar proportions.

On arrival it was a short trip to the Hotel where I settled myself in. After making my selection from the Pillow Menu (I highly recommend the number 8, it has a wonderful after-taste of summer berries and chocolate) I proceeded to update Madame President of my status and see if she required any assistance for the afternoon.

Relieved to hear that all was under control, I headed out to walk the streets, see the sites of the new city, and carry out my traditional search for, and investigation of, the local comic and games establishments.

During my discovery walk I was horrified to discover that, despite what they say on their website, South Australia is yet another of the "no Ice Break" states in Australia. Still, I don't have an addiction, can stop any time, and it's only four days of alternate beverage choices so I wasn't worried.

Upon uncovering the gaming shops in town I alternated between horror and pity to see that their role-playing game choice was limited to only D&D and WOD - something that needs to be rectified if SA wants to be seen as a modern city.
My horror was almost overwhelming upon seeing that center stage in their board game section was given over to multiple copies of MageMaster, one of the most annoyingly drawn out and random games Gavman has ever made us play. Don't just take my word for it though, let's see what ArchEnemy has to say:

Gavman if you ever suggest we play Mage Master again I will come around and burn your house to the ground!

Finishing my tour I returned to the hotel for a pre-dinner drink with Madame President before we headed to the swanky end of town for a nice Thai meal (you can tell it was swanky because they looked down their nose at me when I ordered the house red).

After the meal it was time to retire for the evening in order to be rested enough to face the remainder of the week in Adelaide.


Official Day 1
I was up bright and early to make sure I didn't miss my go at the breakfast smorgasbord which amazingly included a chocolate fountain complete with strawberries on sticks!

First up after breakfast was some extreme satchel stuffing, which is actually much less rude than it sounds.

Luckily we were finished in time for lunch and began to greet the gathering SPUNites.

I had opted for the bus trip to a brand new-ish library outside of town. It was a beautiful afternoon tea, I think I saw some interesting architectural and IT stuff as well

After the bus returned us to the hotel I began to feel the first effects of the absence of Ice Break in my system as the need for a Disco Nap became almost overwhelming. This year I decided to always set the alarm clock in order to avoid a repeat of last years late for dinner fiasco.

Suitably refreshed I made my way back downstairs for the libraryland cocktails session.
Once I was forcibly removed from the drinks arena I headed to the resteraunt area for a late dinner with Dubrovnik Hater, Skeptic L, The Beer Drinking Machine and others. I note that we were served by Adelaide's trade-mark snooty waiter (I'm sure that I am not the linking factor).


Official Day 2
After another banquet breakfast the morning sessions began with much laptop and USB juggling by yours truly - an occurance that was to become a motif of the conference. There was so much of it that first morning that I had a minor attack of nullusmanevictusophobia. Thankfully Madame President had her priorities correct and saved me a muffin from the morning tea selection.

The afternoon session ran more smoothly although rushing to a biscuits-only afternoon tea was a little disappointing.

Once the session had finished I found myself in need of a further nap prior to attending dinner - obviously going without Ice Break was affecting my endurance.

For the dinner I was seated at a table where it was easy to strike up many an interesting conversation while we indulged in some quite splendid food. There was also red wine of the type I particularly enjoy - that in a bottomless glass.

Following dinner I retired to the bar with many others for one last wine (unfortunately not bottomless) and the trading of IT war stories late into the evening with TT and The Ex-President.


Official Day 3
I awoke on day three to find that Ice Break withdrawal symptoms had kicked in while I slept. Nevertheless I struggles through the tummy and head pain, forced some toast down and joined Madame President and Comrade Treasurer at our preparation session for the upcoming AGM.

Said AGM went smoothly, too smoothly in fact as I developed a near-debilitating arm cramp from my frantic minuting of the proceedings. Our attendance list did remain only partialy filled out and I suspect a plot to cover up for those that inexplicably elected for shopping over a meeting.

The AGM was followed by lunch and afternoon tea broken up with some more sessions and then,
suddenly, it was all over.

Baggage was gathered and there was a general libraryland exodus to the airport.
Dubrovnik Hater was kind enough to sneak me into the Qantas Club with the secret pass phrase "he's my one allowed guest" - I have to remember that one. Inside the club was a stark contrast to Canberra's Friday night food trough/sardine cramming - this was wonderfully relaxed and the food and drink was easily accessible - a very good thing since I had many long hours to fritter away until my flight was leaving.

After the short flight I was home to my faithfully whinging flatmate and the comfort of my own bed (no number 8 pillows though).


Unofficial Day 4
After a good sleep-in I traipsed out for another of my famous walk/jogs in an effort to drop those last stubborn 20 kilograms before Svetlana's arrival in a scant 12 days.
Afterwards much computer catching up was done until the evenings main event kicked off - Legion3's birthday and home brew tasting session. Legion's 2&4, BrotherStealer, Badger, Spare Legion, and Hector the Nazi were among in attendance and a great time was had by all. Thanks to daylight savings we were up until quite late which forced today to be a day of total rest.
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