... The Long Awaited Conference Report

Well enough time has passed since the conference that I will now be able to report upon it with my trademark professional objectivity.

It all began for me early in the week when I had to sacrifice two evenings on the altar of having my presentation complete and ready to go for a Thursday afternoon session.
My sacrifice was made even more poignant and grandiose as one of the sacrificed evenings was a gaming evening - the only one untouched by formal conference activities.


Day One: Training and Busing
The Official Day one began with myself and Comrade Treasurer registering conference goers before the start of the morning training session.
The end of training was marked with a sumptuous lunch feast. Unfortunately I had to leave the buffet after only half an hour of feasting as one of my responsibilities involved organising the bus tour for the afternoon.
Said tour went rather well with the attendees: gaping at the technology at Skeptic L's library; having a wry laugh about the porn perusing patrons sullying the newness of Comrade Treasurer's rejuvenated branch; and flocking paparazzi-like around the simple digital photo frame display at my own branch. It was a trifle amusing to see working technology and new desks overlooked for a pragmatic and functional little device.
Throughout this tour my powers of counting were sorely tested as various individuals joined and left the bus at each stopover but I remain confident that no librarians have been left stranded in Melbourne's suburbs for the past month.


Libraryland Cocktails and Beyond
The first evening involved a wonderfully Spring Racing Carnival themed "cocktail" reception.
Of course Supervisor Grand Chief K was in attendance and up to her usual tricks as The Enabler of all things to excess. She might try to blame the constantly refilled wine glasses but I'm sure she was one of the big reasons the night went on afterwards long after all good conference attendees should have been to bed.

Anyway, I did manage to use the occasion to perform some work-related duties, cornering The Beer Drinking Machine and coming up with the solution to our long running RFID problems.

After the official event we reluctantly embarked upon a little expedition at the behest of Dubrovnik Hater who I suspect was working as an accomplice to SGCK - especially as she plied me with a ridiculous cocktail at our first destination.

Luckily my incredible willpower held out and I was able to abstain for the remainder of the night and headed home to a well earned rest after just one more venue.


Day Two: An Unexpected Case of Wine Poisoning
You can imagine my shock when I awoke at around five am to find my body at war with me.
I struggled through much of the morning with only some water and half a carrot for sustenance, messaging my situation reports through to Comrade Treasurer. It was quite a while before I had things under control enough to head in to conference central without fear of yet another stomach emptying episode (and why are there always carrots?). I made my way be train as feeble as a new born stopping for some simple recovery tools along the way.

Finally shuffling in to the break room I was met by a steady succession of attendees popping out of the morning session for various reasons and all of them passed comment on my health. Clearly Skeptic L had informed the whole world of my disposition!
Of interest was the advice that I received independently from two of the Librarians for a northern Melbourne Library service concerning recovery from cases of wine poisoning such as mine . I think I shall have to see about attending their staff Xmas party if they need to know such information so thoroughly.

Thinking it was all behind me I had to face the most horrific part of the whole ordeal as a magnificent lunch was served and I didn't have the stomach to partake of it at all.
Oh the humanity!

In the afternoon I bravely presented my part of the session I had promised to be a part of - albeit a little less lively than I had planned to be.

I then sat back and furthered my recovery with a few sessions of very little movement.

It all worked a treat and I was able to partake fully in the evening conference dinner and even had my wits about me enough to escape from Dubrovnik Hater's clutches as she gathered people about her for another night on the town (although she claims it was all The Ex-President's idea).


Day Three: In Which Nothing Untoward Happened
The final day of the conference went almost completely to plan with sessions ticking over, lunch being eaten and my reign as Mr Secretary coming to a close after two eventful years.
I was even able to tackle a drink or two at the farewell event at the end of the day.



So there you have it the month-late report on my conference experience.

Hmmm, not really worth the wait was it?
.