The First Present

During the week past I received the first of what will probably be many presents in recognition of my somehow, inexplicably, making it through this roller-coaster life of mine all the way to a ripe old age.

Thankfully, as my last blog post should have proven, ones physical and mental age are usually quite far from being aligned in a meaningful manner that would allow others to use date of birth as any kind of significant measure of expected behaviour.

In any case, this first gift came from, of course, Svetlana herself.
It was, unfortunately, not Svetlana herself couriered here in an oversized crate lined with newspaper and comfortable pillows.
It was also, again unfortunately, not something one could eat.

The first gift of this ageing season of mine was a sizeable container of aftershave balm - enough to have one thrown in detention should one attempt to board an air-o-plane (for bringing a balm onto the plane - get it?).
It is a product of cheese-eating-surrender-monkeys - which should make Legion3 happy in his Francophile way - but was delivered from Hong Kong in a plain and battered off-white box with a purple ribbon daintily tied about it to make it look oh so presenty.

I can come to only one or two conclusions:

• Svetlana's habit of referring to me as her "smelly English piggy" is not as cutesy and tongue in cheek as I had believed up until now...
• or there is some sort of perception that I am one to butcher himself horribly while shaving and would therefore welcome the chance to sooth those savaged cheeks and chiselled jaw of mine with a balm such as this
  

Either way it is a saddening line of thought, particularly when one has a weekend at home alone cleaning and tidying in preparation for the inevitable post-party inspection of one's living space by the hordes of Librarians attending one's celebration event next weekend.
It is a lot of hard work concealing decades of geekery in the meagre allotment of cupboards with which my humble abode is equipped. I hope nobody glances underneath the couch.

Sigh.

Hmm, on second thoughts the balm bottle doesn't say that it is poisonous, so it must be edible after all - and it does smell delicious...
.